You’ve heard it all before during this season of giving, but here are seven ways that you can help yourself feel merry without feeling quite so pressured. Christmas shouldn’t be time of great stress when you put more demands on yourself. It is essential that you take this into consideration and try not to stretch yourself too much practically, psychologically, or emotionally during this time. So, to enable you to work towards a much less stressful Christmas here are seven tips to help you get started. 

1. Avoid burnout, maintain boundaries

Often, you can be your own worst enemy at this time and set yourself impossible goals trying to be the superhero. I know you do this because you want to make sure your loved ones have a good time, but I suspect you try to do it all alone. It is important that you put boundaries in place and know what you can and cannot achieve in the time you have. Start by saying ‘no’ to things that are unrealistic and forget about being perfect and just do your best and know that ‘you are good enough’ anyway. 

2. Budgeting is good for your health

It can be very tempting to overstretch yourself at Christmas. This is particularly so if you have children and want to give them a Christmas to remember. It is important though that you keep an eye on your spending and do not let it become unmanageable so that you are left in debt. It is, and will continue to be, a very challenging time for many households with demands being placed on our finances. After the festivities have ended you will not want to be faced with debt you cannot pay back or you are having, as many households are now, to choose between heating and eating. Remember, the most important gift you can give your loved ones is your time and love. However, here is a link if you are struggling financially https://helpforhouseholds.campaign.gov.uk.

3. Reduce the strain start listing

Writing down lists can be enormously helpful to alleviate the constant thoughts of what we need to do going around in our heads. Get everything out of your head and on to paper as much as possible by making lists. Write down the essential, desirable, and non-essential tasks you need to do. Another way is to get a big piece of paper and use post-it notes; this will enable you to move the tasks to different categories more easily. That way you have a visible list which is always helpful. This will help you achieve clarity and feel less overwhelmed and more relaxed. But it is important that you stick to the list.

4. Delegation is a strength

It can be particularly difficult if you’re the type of person who has always prided themselves on being able to do it all alone, but it is important to ask for help when you need it. Remember it’s your Christmas too and delegating tasks will help you manage better and be less stressed. Try reframing any self-limiting beliefs from ‘I should be able to do this’ to ‘if I ask ‘X’ to do this task it will enable them to know how to do it in the future’. Also, don’t forget it takes a lot of courage to ask for help, it is a strength not a weakness, and this way you may get more done than you thought possible.

5. Planning improves efficiency

Planning, and having a strategy, when thinking about Christmas may seem out of kilter but it will save you time and energy. So, rather than getting stressed waiting in busy supermarket, and trying to find a parking space, try ordering your shopping online. If you order your food shopping ahead you could, partially cook, freeze, and defrost them on the day. Could you also order some of your presents online or arrange for someone else to pick them up. Maybe shop for the extra special presents in person and combine them with enjoying lunch with a friend and where you do not have to cook. 

6. How solitude can improve your well-being

Being alone at Christmas does not necessarily mean you will feel alone and isolated. It can be the perfect time of rest, relaxation, and recuperation. A time just to be and reflect. It is suggested that people who set some alone time find it beneficial in that they report better life satisfaction and lower levels of stress. But I know you may not want to be alone and it can trigger self-defeating thoughts such as “why do I always have to be alone at this time when everyone else is happy”. If you are experiencing such thoughts, it is important to challenge your thinking. It is easy to assume everyone is happy when the reality Christmas time can put a serious strain on relationships https://www.dvact.org/post/why-does-domestic-violence-increase-over-christmas. If you do find yourself alone it is important to plan by making sure you have your favourite movie to watch, some nice food and drink and remind yourself how well you are doing. If you want to do something more active with your time you may want to get involved in an activity? Perhaps you can think about volunteering your time with those in need such as the homeless https://www.crisis.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer/volunteer-for-crisis-at-christmas/. I recall this was one of my best Christmas days when I saw the joy on the people’s faces and just being part of that day with them. 

7. Taking time out is productive

Whilst taking time for yourself at the busiest time of year can seem counterproductive it can be very productive. Taking time out to relax, and regroup, will enable you to know what you have achieved and what is yet waiting to be done. You may also find it helpful to book in a relaxing massage, visit to the hairdresser, or just be at home with your favourite drink.

I hope you have found these tips helpful. Remember; boundaries, not overstretching your budget, making lists, delegating, planning, getting involved and making time for you are all essential criteria for your stress-free Christmas. 

About me

Hi, I’m Jeanette Fegan a Chartered Psychologist in private practice. I have over 20 years clinical experience of working with clients who have experienced low self-worth. If you too are struggling with your self-worth at this stressful time of year, and want to address this in therapy, please book a FREE 20-minute consultation to discuss how I can help you. You can do this by visiting my website https://www.jrfpsychology.co.uk.